Also known as The Pause, The Hormonal Change, The Shift, The Change of Life, Climacteric, The Transition, and then other delightful terms such as The End of Fertility and medically accurate but also somewhat grating, Ovarian Failure.
A rose by any name … well no William, this is where you and I disagree. For a topic that has been long underrepresented, underresearched, underfunded, and largely ignored, the name matters a lot. It sets the stage (no pun intended) for how a woman progresses through this phase of life.
With a lack of knowledge and few spaces in which to discuss it, many women stumble into menopause, or more accurately, perimenopause, and are side-swiped by the numerous, often-times debilitating symptoms that come with it. I’m not going to get into a diatribe about how the patriarchy is to blame for the current state of affairs, but rather I want to offer a different perspective that will allow us to move on and look past how this phase change has been framed by our forefathers.
A quick word on nomenclature before we proceed. There are a few acts in this play, some longer than others, some a mere diary entry. Let’s get some clarity:
Premenopause – a woman has a (relatively) regular menstrual cycle, for many the child-bearing years
Perimenopause – the period preceding menopause, where cycle length becomes irregular, usually with greater than 7 days variation, with or without the onset of other hormone related symptoms; hormonal life for the most part is unpredictable; this phase can last anything from 7 to 14 years
Menopause – a moment in time, seen retrospectively after you have not had a period for 12 consecutive months
Postmenopause – you no longer have a period. At. All. Ever.
For the purpose of this text (and those to follow) I will refer to the period of time in which the hormonal changes happen and a woman is experiencing any related symptoms as menopause, as many women experience symptoms in both the perimenopausal and postmenopausal phases.
It is as inevitable as death and taxes, and for any woman born with ovaries, something she will go through. I believe that, as with so many medical conditions, we got lost in the diagnosis and we stopped listening. We got obsessed with the fix. Something, anything to just get us feeling normal again. Please!
If however, we shift our perspective, and consider our physical body as a herald of sorts, the one to feed back to us what’s going on in this multidimensional being, then the narrative changes completely. Suddenly we are not playing wackamole with every symptom that arises, but rather we become quiet. We consider the myriad of changes that are occurring as an invitation to stop and listen. And with that arises an opportunity to fine-tune how we chose to go through the next phase of life.
Now before you throw your laptop or phone at me, let’s agree that many many women don’t like a word they are hearing from said herald. It’s hot, it’s uncomfortable, it’s painful, it’s tiresome and it’s not fitting into our carefully balanced schedules. We have successful careers, kids writing exams and partners who need tending, parents who are aging and households that need running. We don’t have time for THIS. But here’s the rub. It’s real, it’s happening and there’s no way around it. So how do we get through it with a modicum of composure and without drawing blood?
We accept the invitation. We stop. We listen. What we decide to do here sets the stage for how we go through our post-menopausal years and for many this can be up to 40% of our life. This is a big chunk of life and I think well worth some consideration.
Many incredible women have taken up the batton and are writing, speaking, shouting and researching, all aspects of menopause. All in an effort to equip women with the knowledge and tools to make decisions and employ changes that set them up for the rest of their life. Having access to knowledge of what’s happening in our bodies is thankfully one of the most empowering developments in recent years. Once we understand, we can have compassion and then make informed choices.
In the following posts we will consider the physical changes that are taking place, the symptoms related to those changes and their long term consequences. Then the good stuff – what we can do about it all. A word of warning – there is no silver bullet and no perfect program, but armed with a deeper understanding of how your body is changing and the resources available, you can create your own way forward.
In the meantime, heed the invitation to stop and to listen to what she is trying to tell you.
